Fun with Aphorisms

Hi Folks,

Taking a little break today for a short post and some fun. At least I hope you’ll find it fun.

“Aphorism” is defined by as “a short pithy saying expressing a general truth.” My aphorisms sometimes come out as definitions (ala Ambrose Bierce) and are most often satirical. Here are a dozen of mine. Remember, these are tongue in cheek:

  • apology, n. A device intended to soothe wounds and thereby put a victim off his guard; a precursor to the next offense.
  • arrogance, n. ignorance advertised.
  • common sense, n. A myth. What’s common to some is obviously a luxury to most.
  • human, n. 1. The most conceited animal on earth, unjustifiably so.
  • intellectual, n. 1. One who will drive a Hummer six blocks to a Save the Ozone rally. 2. A closet tuna-eater.
  • intolerance, n. Proof of an atrophied mind and a lazy disposition.
  • kindness, n. An imagined effect created by hopeful expectation. The act itself never issues forth from one whose lips the word has crossed, except to convey superiority.
  • opinion, n. Offered as it is from a single point of view, a meaningless group of words to anyone but the author.
  • patience, n. A pliable substance that wears thin when it’s most needed.
  • protestor, n. 1. One who exercises the right to dissent, provided him by a patriot, against whom he most often dissents. 2. One who, lacking a cause, will create a posterboard sign decrying the lack of causes and picket the nearest conservative.
  • question, n. Because it stirs thought, the only truly important grouping of words in any language.
  • victim, n. In our society, the person held responsible for the crime perpetuated against him.

And a few straight aphorisms:

  • Failure is only practice for success.
  • The right to free speech does not include the right to an audience.
  • The one thing I cannot tolerate is intolerance.

How about you? Do you write aphorisms? It’s a fun exercise and a great way to keep the brain pan lubricated.

‘Til next time, happy writing.


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